Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Aussie Award Ceremonies Are the Greatest

Ahh Australian Awards ceremonies.

I always look forward to them, and they always deliver. And the greatest ever Aussie awards ceremony was the ARIA Awards of 2010.

Who could forget the shambolic format of trying to award the winners from the middle of what seemed to be a crowded outdoor bar at the Sydney Opera House. When an award was announced, it was pure gold seeing how long it would take the cameras to find the winners. Or the cuts to hosts who stood quietly for 20 seconds before realising they were on, as the chances of the ARIAs being shown on tv in 2011 nosedived with every awkward, silent second. "Yes, you're on! Go..."

When the host and cameras finally did find the winner, they could barely hear each other, and memories of trying to chat up a hottie at the nightclub by screaming at them over the music at the local nightclub came flooding back to everyone.

A sign of how successful this watershed night was going to be was when Powderfinger were tracked down to be presented for an ARIA and exclaimed in confusion "What did we win again?"  Good work guys, just throw it on the pile have another beer! The bar tab runs out at 10!

And on a night of some terrible music, it was left to Lara Bingle to show just how bad bad singing can be. When interviewing Jason Derulo (just why was he there again?), she attempted to sing his name as he so humbly does in all of his tracks. But she wound up sounding like a cross between a preteen boy who's voice hasn't quite dropped and dying rhinoceros. Classic.

2010 ARIA presenters rushed home
with Carmen Electra on their minds
The running joke of the night was for all the male presenters to ogle and grunt about what they would like to do to the other international guest, Carmen Electra. First it resembled a conversation of frustrated men at an outer suburban BBQ have while their wives are safely out of earshot making salads. And then it turned into what a guy in a trench coat says to the first female call centre operator who answers his call from a public phone booth at 11pm. The look on Carmen's face said in no uncertain terms "get me the f*&! out of here, NOW". The kind of universally pained look that your female friend gets at a bar when the creepy guy with the ponytail and baked bean teeth dances his inappropriately tight acid wash jeans toward her.

The fun didn't stop there! The absolute highlight of the night, and one of the highlights of 2010 was yet to come. Helloooo Jessica Mauboy!!! In speaking about some new artist's first album, she somehow thought it was pronounced... "DEE-BUT". Twice. The first time it was like "did she just say...", and when she said it the second time, there was no denying it. Didn't anyone ever correct her when she released her own dee-butt album?

What do you mean "Silent T"?

So many other memories... Sia showing class by saying she was going to shove her aria "up her bum", INXS with yet another 'guest' front man... The list goes on.

I had intended to write about the 2012 Gold Logie nominees, but after writing the first line of this post, it just wrote itself... Bring on the 2012 Logies! Cant wait!

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