London's Biggest Whingers

Seriously. How did it get this bad?

Are Australia's Olympians in any way representative of the population? If they are, we're in a lot of trouble.

Never before has there been such a bad bunch of petulant, spoilt whingers. When I'd though I'd said all I could about them in their lead up to London, the news just keeps rolling in. I remember in the Sydney Olympics the media poured scorn and outrage at the over zealous winning celebration by Maurice Green and the US relay team when they won Gold.  They were accused of being bad sportsmen. The arrogance of people who celebrate a win! Geez, fast forward to London 2012, and the behaviour of Australia's athletes - NOW we have seen bad sportsmanship!  We're stuck with a bunch of whining losers who, if they actually make it on the track, will be impossible to support because of their exploits off it.

Australia has over 400 athletes in London, and the majority are probably great. But its the 20 or so who are having tantrums about anything and everything in sight. Like this guy...

http://www.theage.com.au/olympics/athletics-london-2012/ross-threatens-olympic-walkout-20120725-22ppm.html

Give us your best victim pose

Sprinter Josh Ross is warning the Australian Olympic Committee he will abandon the London Games if he does not receive a legitimate explanation for the reason behind his federation failing to nominate him to race in the 100 metres individual event.

Why doesn't the AOC have a plane waiting at Heathrow for all the ungrateful 'athletes', fuelled and ready to take them home where they can be forgotten. Call their bluff. Rattle a tin around the streets to raise money for it, no doubt people will only be too happy to contribute.


Ross, who is a member of Australia's 4x100m relay team, is eligible to compete in the Olympics blue riband event because he clocked 10:23 seconds – a B-qualifying standard time – at the nationals earlier this year and at a recent meet in Europe.

He's eligible - not deserving.

However, he has reached breaking point after Athletics Australia officials would not tell him why he was overlooked. Melissa Breen was nominated for the women's 100m after she ran a B-standard time and selectors will soon choose between fellow B-qualifiers Steve Solomon and John Steffensen to compete in the 400m event.

To quote a 6 year old when his brother gets a bigger ice cream "but its not fairrrrrr"

“I'm actually thinking about pulling out all together if I don't get answers,” Ross said. “I'll actually be happy to pull out if I don't get answers to why I wasn't nominated for the 100m.”

You'll be "happy" to pull out? So evidently the fact that you are lucky enough to be competing in an OLYMPICS at all means absolutely nothing. I would have though it would be a lifelong dream for most athletes. Gotta love that commitment to excellence.

Ross said he was committed to sacrificing his place at the Olympics and would “have to” live with what many people would consider an extreme action because – after coming out of retirement and giving his all to represent Australia at London – he has felt a distinct lack of respect from his sport's officialdom.

And what respect have you earned? What respect are you showing to your sport, your team, your country? If you do go home, you will be leaving the rest of the 4 x 100 relay team in the lurch. Great team player.

“All I wanted is an answer, a simple answer,” he said. “I'm doing this because I haven't got any answers personally. I've been trying to get answers but because it's always being hand-balled to other people it's been difficult to find a straight answer. The strangest thing of all is I'm trying to find out why they nominated Steve Solomon and John Steffensen to run but didn't want to nominate me.

Don't worry about Steffensen, you don't need any answers about him, he has nothing to do with you. Just worry about yourself. maybe worry about trying to run faster even?

“Am I not good enough? Am I not good enough to them to run the 100m when I have proven time and time again that Josh Ross always comes through with the goods . . . 'Am I not good enough to be nominated?' That is the big question – although it is a strange question.”

Its not a strange question. No. Josh Ross is not good enough. Always comes through with the goods? When?

Ross believed such a stance was required to ultimately improve the lot for Australia's athletes. He could not understand why his federation would not nominate the likes of himself or Tamsyn Manou (nee Lewis), a triple Olympian and former world indoor champion who was not even selected for the team despite posting a B-qualifier for the 800m .

First you're riding Steffensen's coattails, and now Tamsyn Lewis? Geez, you've picked some real winner there. Steffensen and Lewis weren't nominated because they are not good enough, they didn't qualify. And, more importantly they weren't nominated because they are annoying, bad sports, and because more trouble than they're worth.

And well done Ross, you've catapulted yourself to their lofty heights.

Great Britain has nominated athletes who have run B-qualifying times in the men's 100m and women's 800m. “There is a bigger picture than just me not running or Tamsyn and whoever else,” Ross said. “You have to look at the future of the sport, the up-and-coming athletes.

Firstly, if the future of Athletics in Australia is Steffensen, Tamsyn Lewis and Josh Ross, then its probably time to give the game away. Secondly, Lewis has retired, Ross has come out of retirement, and Steffensen is a never was. So what future is it that you speak of?

We have the best 400m sprinter [Steffensen] that we've ever seen on the team and he's not [picked yet]; we have our best 100m sprinter and he's not making it ... the younger athletes must be thinking 'if they're not making it what hope do I have?'

Well Josh Ross, not including Steffensen will show young athletes that they aren’t owed any favours, and that running their mouths off isn’t a way to get what they want. That’s the message it sends. And hopefully they listen, so we don't have to put up with a new crop of whingers in 2016.

I think it is time to fix athletics in this country and [for the officials] to do things the right way. “If we don't speak up now and make stands to change the sport it will never happen, I just want you to know this is [the reason for] my stand.”

based in the past week, Australian athlectis will be well on its way to being fixed when Ross, Steffensen and Lewis are no longer a part of it.

And having a tanty because you don't get things your way is not the same as making a stand.

Ross said the chance for him to compete against Jamaica's world champion Usain Bolt, history's fastest man, would perhaps help AA to inspire youngsters to remain in a sport that constantly loses its best prospects to the football codes.

Using the word “compete” is being very generous. Taking his B-qualifying form into the race, Ross wont get past the heats. So he will have to get drawn in the same heat at Bolt if he wants to race him. And if this happens, the only time we will see the two is the same tv screen is if Bolt is still on the track celebrating his cruisy victory, as Ross huffs and puffs past a few seconds later on his on his way to the finish.

And INSPIRE youngsters? What kind of inspiration have you been so far? Complain. Whine. Complain some more. And if you don't get what you want, take your bat and ball and go home. A true role model for the kids out there.

More importantly, no matter your exploits on the track, you and your team mates have already outshone them, there's not enough Gold in the world to eclipse your whining.

“Australians want to see Australians compete,” he said. “The fact is I'm here in London [where I'm being accommodated, clothed and fed] so why not let me run?”

No Josh, that may have been true at previous Olympics, but not any more. After yours and your mates behaviour, most people want to see you actually live out your threats. Go home.

The Amazing Race to London 2012

The Olympics don't start for a few days, but already a race has been run and won.

The race to London via the Australian media. How have the athletes navigated the treacherous waters of the Australian media in the lead up to London? There have been numerous traps along the way, and while some have got through successfully, others have failed miserably. Answering any questions by Carrie Bickmore and the 7pm Project is to flirt with failure. And to be spoken to or associated with Hamish and Hamish turns any athlete into a D grade wannabe celeb, and is cause for instant disqualification.

So who's made it to London unscathed and with class intact? And who has embarrassed themselves by whining, stupidity and generally being talentless? (its fair to say a lot have)

The results are in...

Gold Medal
Sally Pearson

For Australia's most high profile and best chance at an Athletics Gold, not much has been heard from Sally. And that's the exact reason she is our best chance to win Gold. She goes to London for one reason, to win Gold. And the Australian media hasn't distracted her from that. She wont be silencing her critics because there are none. She lets her talents do the talking, and has stayed out of all the nonsense that has been going on with her team mates.Even though its too late for you Tamsyn Lewis, take note, this is how you become a champion.

Silver Medal
The Women's Basketball Team

The Opals walk with swagger, and hold themselves with the confidence and professionalism of a team with business to get done. Try as they might, B-grade AFL and NRL journalists moonlighting as Olympic journalists haven't been able to get close to controversy.

The media made a huge song and dance about the Opals having to travel economy class while the mens team got business class. The team was baited and baited by a over excited media who were drooling on the anticipation of a gender inequality story to outrage the masses. But the Opals gave them nothing. And in the background, the inequality was rectified by Basketball Australia, and the Opals didn't miss a single minute of training. Journos ran around like headless chickens looking for somewhere to start some drama, but had to settle from comments from themselves, as the Opals bought into none of it. A huge test resulted in a flawless, winning effort.

Bronze Medal  DQ
Stephanie Rice

Carrying the unfortunate Bruce McAvainy title of "Australia's Golden Girl" from the 2008 Games, hers was always going to be an arduous race. Moreso than being a winner, being a young and pretty lady attracts the media like blood thirsty vultures circling above, just waiting for the next mistake or controversy which they can dive on and devour. Her degree of difficulty has been extreme, and by no means has she run a perfect race. She was in Steffensen territory for a while with her monumental twitter blunders early in the piece, and the bad start cost her the gold in this race. But somehow she's been able to surprise everyone, and has powered through the home straight, with all recent coverage being about her training and progress from injury, and not her looks or tweets. No mean feat. And she goes to London with a reputation as a fierce competitor, not a just a glamour girl, so she's done something right.



Update 25/07/12 PM
Whoops. An automatic DQ for Rice. A reliable source has provided a photograph of her, not only with Hamish and Hamish, but with one half of Dumb and Dumber as well. A moment of insanity, and an indisputable disqualification. Her race to London ends in a spectacular last minute failure.




4th Place
Steve Hooker

Was on his way to a podium finish, but got involved with Steffensen. As a big time athlete, he should have known better. Hooker has had a tough run to these Olympics, but is still aiming to win. Not just compete, but win. He's not blaiming anyone else for his woes, and he's only focused on fixing them. As the Captain of the biggest bunch of whingers in London Australian Athletics Team, he's had a lot of stupidity to deal with. But Steffensen aside, he managed to stay out of the turbulence, which is truly an amazing effort.

5th Place
Natalie Cook

In one shot, the 2000 Gold medalist spared us all from the predictable debate about beach volleyball bikinis before it got off the ground. When a 5-time Olympian says that her uniform is the most practical and comfortable thing to wear, there is no argument to be had. The permanently outraged hadn't even been able to climb atop their high horses and shout sexism, when their arguments were mooted to irrelevancy.

But on the homestretch she has taken her eyes off the prize in the race to London with her clanger about deserving to be the flag bearer. Whether or not she's deserving of the honour, is a little trashy to tell everyone that it should be hers. Her threats of a sit-in protest may or may not have been said in jest, but it doesn't matter, the smallest hint of dissent or controversy, arrogance or sexism, is like shooting fish in a barrel for the Aussie media. And they pounced big time, by the end even Dawn Fraser had a say. Rookie error by the Olympic veteran.

6th Place
Kendrink Monk

Swimming isn't a team sport, but stupidity evidently is. Monk and his thug mate D'Arcy were named Dumb and Dumber after a photo of them in a gun shop in the US was posted on Facebook. Although the ensuing outrage was really just an excuse for the media to make some noise, and no one genuinely cared, these dimwits should have seen the outrage coming. But the photo was really just the icing on the cake for Monk.


Ahh Monk. A swimmer training for an Olympics cruisin' on a skateboard would normally win any race to stupidville, but its what happened next which makes this guy a real dud. The fall from the skateboard and resulting broken arm was of course inevitable, but making up an impossible story about a hit and run accident to cover it up? Monk, you're just not smart enough to pull off a lie that size! Much better to say that you were rolling with your homie D'Arcy who got both of you into a fight at a pub. No one would have questioned it.

7th Place
John Steffensen

Saved from last place by his female equivalent, how this guy is on the team is truly astounding. Even with the fact that he has not come close to the qualifying time; all of his yapping to anyone who will listen; his endless, unsubstantiated claims of racism and prejudice; and his staging of a one-man boycott of the Games, Steffensen has still somehow found himself with a ticket to London. If there's any prejudice going on, its that Steffensen gets preferential treatment! Why Athletics Australia didn't gleefully accept his boycott and move on is a mystery for the ages. Wait for his track campaign to end with last place in his heat.

And not to mention his incoherent tweets! Its not just his attitude that needs work, its also his spelling and grammer. Its astonishing.

DNF
Tamsyn Lewis

Hasn’t come close to the Olympic qualification time for any event, yet somehow still feels justified to complain and cry foul about being uninvited to anyone silly enough not to run in the opposite direction. Constantly playing the victim, she looks for publicity at the lowest common denominator – from the trashy current affairs shows to Zoo Magazine. On the rare occasion she is in the media spotlight for athletics, there’s more nonsense drama than an episode of The Shire.  The uncontrollable tears about coming last in Beijing and her on-track spat with Jana Pittman embarrassed everybody involved. She carries herself with the poise of spoilt pre-teen brat, and wonders why a spot in London isn’t handed to her on a silver platter. In fact the only thing she has got right is claiming that “I'm not wanted”. You're not Tamsyn. You definitely are not.

The London TV Olympics

Its time for the London Olympics.

And the big question is...

Will Channel 9 do better that the debacle of Channel 7's broadcast of the 2008 Olympics? Or go they possibly sink Aussie tv even lower?

The 2008 Olympics are remembered for Channel 7's terrible broadcast which insisted on showing their crap shows instead of the world biggest event. Being a prime time Olympics, it was always going to be too much for 7 to part from their usual schedule of Today Tonight. Showing stories about heartless Councils fining pensioners wins out every time over showing Michael Phelps winning the Gold. Good choice Channel 7 Execs. Evidently 7 only got the Olympics so Channel 9 couldn't.

Fast forward to now and its time for London 2012. Channel 9 has the rights this time. Will they actually show the Olympics which they undoubtedly paid millions for? Or is it too great an ask to not show the Footy Show for two weeks? One thing that is dead certain is the saturation advertising of Underbelly Badness they will force us to endure. The lead actor better get some real gangsta links, because people will be out for his blood after having him plastered all over their tvs at every ad break for 2 weeks straight.

Aussie Slowpoke Rodriguez is ready to race

One absolute certainty will be the attempted Aussie angle on any event which doesn't involve an Australian. That is if its shown at all. Just like our international news which desperately looks for the Aussie angle in covering Bastille Day celebrations from Paris, so too will the Olympic coverage attempt to put the Australian spin on anything and everything in this so called 'world event'. Lookout for the "Aussie Connections" in any sport not involving an Aussie. Jana from the Ukraine, who's brother once came to Australia on a holiday will be renamed "Aussie Jana", despite the fact she thinks by that Australia we mean Austria.

Aussie Kim Clijsters anyone?

Are the Australian public so nationalist and xenophobic that they can't bare to watch anything that doesn't involve a fellow Aussie? Our tv networks certainly think so. Is this a Channel 9 boardroom conversation?

         "Usain Bolt? Sounds like a foreigner to me. World Record? What about the Australian Record?"

There are hundreds of Aussie athletes competing in London, and congratulations to all of them for making it, but forgive me if I’d rather watch Usain Bolt, the US Basketball Team, Michael Phelps or the British Football Team than some Aussie being smashed in the first round of the badminton by Chinese Taipei. Of course, failing the Aussie connection, wait for the heartwarming story about how some town in East Backwater Nowhereville in central Qld held a fundraiser at the local pub so that Granny could fly to London to watch young Johnny be the cox in the rowing.

But lets be honest, just because they are Australian, it doesn't make them likable. Nobody but nobody wants to see the petulant gits, Tamsyn Lewis and John Steffensen. Their inevitable attention seeking tantrums, and self inflated egos which are only matched in size by the margin they'll lose their race are unbearable. Even to see them lose wouldn't be satisfying, as they shouldn't be there in the first place. And who could forget the two bozos from the swim team, the one who fell off his skateboard and broke his arm, and the other who used his government funded training, fitness, and strength to sucker punch a team member to a bloody pulp. Go team!

Speaking of the Aussie spin, one thing that we can be eternally grateful for is that we wont have to put up with is channel 7’s roving reporter who’s name escapes me (Curly, Curny or something). The concoction of this guy's over-exaggerated Aussie accent and his ridiculous questions to confused athletes who are trying to figure out if he’s speaking English between his G’days, Mates and Aussie clichés are enough to make you move to North Korea for their superior and more balanced media coverage. This simpleton is in his element in the Olympics, where after seeing a sport he doesn't know or understand (making it whimsical and stupid), he asks seasoned athletes from non-Australian countries who have just won a Gold medal: “G’day mate, wow, you were high off the ground in the pole vault weren't you?” The polite nods he gets from these athletes as they edge away to speak with real reporters shows the esteem that 7’s man Curly is held.

Of course to try to avoid showing too many foreigners, we can expect usual trick of flicking between events in order to show every single Aussie competing. Is there anything more infuriating watching your tv switch from a shot at goal in hockey to heat 3 of the 400 meters to a free throw in basketball to a bullseye in archery to a serve in volleyball to an attempted high jump to a dismount from the uneven bars in gymnastics to a shot of Anthony LaPaglia in Underbelly Badness, all within a seizure-inducing 2 minutes?

An Australian Olympic broadcast just wouldn't be complete without references about how Sydney 2000 did it better. Or naive commentators comparing fringe foreigner sports which Australians don't win Gold medals in such as basketball, volleyball, or gymnastics to AFL or NRL. Or naming which ever female swimmer wins Gold as our newest Golden Girl. But this year we also have the hope that Channel 9 may actually use its multi channels to give us something close to what we could expect with 2012 technology. Could they possibly dare to upset the 6 people that actually watch Channels Gem and Go by foregoing the screening of Bewitched and Green Acres repeats, and show the Olympics on those channels? And wait for it - Yes, if the Olympics are shown on Channel Gem, they may even be in HD. Imagine that, sport in HD! The future is now. (by future I mean 2007).

So the stage is set, London 2012 is days away, and Channel 9 are promising us multi channels, HDTV, 3D coverage and all the bells and whistles. Will they deliver?

Welcome to The Shire of Bogan

The ads have started, and it's going ahead. Channel 10’s 'The Shire', looks to be exactly as anticipated: A show about vain 20-something nobodies with delusions that a being on a reality show is a career path. It'll all be here. The Ed Hardy t-shirts. The word 'hectic'. The Southern Cross tattoos. The Jetstar specials. The horror of the modern bogan.

The Shire has been touted as an Aussie version of Jersey Shore. But with the state of channel 10’s budgets (they’ve been using the same cardboard cut-outs on the sets of Neighbours for decades), there’s not much that Channel 10 can buy their newest stars that will push their lives into anything beyond suburban mundane. Aside from the obligatory bikini babes to keep the teenage boys interested, there's not much for anyone else to tune in to.

So what will be the hook for this show? What will make people watch? Reality tv shows need to have something that keeps people tuning in. Are the Shire’s (ahem) ‘stars’ famous? No. Are they rich? No. Do they lead exclusive lives? No. Are they interesting people? Hell No. Even the most maligned reality shows have a reason which makes people want to watch the lives of their stars. Paris Hilton & K-Dash – Rich, famous, exclusive. Laguna Beach & The Hills – Rich, exclusive. Jersey Shore – Exclusive (albeit thanks to MTV’s $$).

So it looks like they’ll have to rely on manufactured drama (which will need to be edited when the hot heads inevitably start throwing haymakers at each other after too many Bundy and Cokes), cut-aways to crashing waves and seagulls, and Masterchef style recaps of what just happened. Wait for the tie-in with Lara Bingle’s show to boost the ratings (for both shows). Channel 10 will hope that the combination of the two shows will be greater than the sum of their parts.

As for reality, well no one actually thinks that reality tv is real anymore. The setups, editing and scripts have turned the genre into 'dramality'. But how will this work when there is nothing interesting about the people, situations, or stories of The Shire? Would you stop on the street to listen to bogans talk about how smashed they were last night? Or listen to them rating whatever girls have the misfortune of crossing their line of sight?

Where is this 'Shire'? Is it a mysterious place on the edge of a hidden paradise? No. Its Cronulla. A suburb of Sydney. Calling it 'The Shire' is obviously a ploy to make it sound more exciting than it is. Does anyone really call it the Shire? The last person I knew of who said they were from The Shire was a hobbit on a road trip with a ring and a little bald troll chasing him down yelling out “precious”.

Welcome to the Shire. Get off my beach.

Channel 10 is claiming this show is to show the 'heart of Australia'. But its more like what naive tourists would like to think Australia is. Bronzed pretty people who sit around all day in the sun. I wonder if they have a minimum number of times the cast will have to say “mate”. As I look out my office window into the freezing and busy concrete of Melbourne’s CBD, it seems The Shire's version of Australia is about as true to life as the fact that we hitch rides to work in kangaroos' pouches.

The mark of the well travelled

The truly sad thing about this show is that it celebrates many things that just shouldn’t be celebrated. It will be full of arrogant bogans who think their Southern Cross tattoos and Bintang singlets from Bali; self infatuation and incomprehensible accents; and ignorance to the rest of the world are something to be admired. These are the obnoxious idiots who ruin your night when seated near your table at a restaurant. The embarrassing loudmouths overseas that you cringe when you realise they share the same passport as you, and pray that the locals don’t think you’re like them.



If Channel 10 wants to showcase the Aussie surf culture, why not follow some of Australia’s pro surfers on tour? That would check off all the ingredients for reality tv – rich, talented and famous people with exclusive and interesting lives, living most people's dream job.

Instead we get a bunch of obnoxious nobodies with nothing to do who think they are a somebodies with something to do.